ARROWS
Chapter One:
Oceanside University
Salty and startlingly frigid, the water stung at my cut legs like a dozen livid wasps. I felt myself plunge beneath the surface into a quiet, new, dark world. I winced, gave a few feeble kicks, and then relaxed. The water was still and I couldn’t help but imagine sharks lurking nearby, circling and waiting to bite, or squids reaching out to- ward me with their long poisonous arms to bring me in for a deathly embrace. Was there no safe place for me? I knew if I wanted to, I could stay here in the dark, cold unknown and continue to sink. If I wanted to, I could wait for the octopus or the rip tide to take me beyond safety. I found surprising peace in being alone, curling my legs into my chest, and clenching my mouth shut tight.
***
"If you like piña colada and getting caught in the rain—"
The music startled me and my heart started racing immediately. I grabbed my phone and shut off the alarm. Hoping that the sudden music hadn't awakened my roommate, I looked in her direction. Fortunately, she didn't move—didn't even roll over. It was still dark out and the air was a little brisk. Wasn't it supposed to be warmer in California? I sat up and pulled my red and blue plaid quilt tightly around my neck. Scooting into the corner of my bed, I sighed. The wooden paneled wall creaked as I rested my head against it. It had come. Another school year.
I suppose most kids start the school year the same way that they start the new year; with resolutions. I had my share of them. Beside me, carefully taped to the wood, was my list of them which I had tried to neatly script in cursive. Someone had told me that writing down goals makes them more achievable. Despite my embarrassment at seeming slightly OCD to my new roommate Chelsea, I had.
Freshman Year Resolutions
1. Get straight A's
2. Dress more attractively
3. Get back down to 135lbs
4. Be more friendly and patient
5. Get a job and some income
6. Find true love
The last one I had outlined a half dozen times. I knew the first one wouldn't be a problem unless I goofed off, which I wouldn't. Math might prove to be a little bit of a struggle, because I'd never been particularly gifted with exponents, parabolas, or algorithms. Despite the difficulty, I had done well in high school back home in Normal.
My wardrobe looked as though it had come to me second-hand. While I had purchased the clothes new, almost all of my tops were faded and balled. Once I got a job I could invest in some new clothes. Since I was currently pushing 143 pounds, the new money and wardrobe might be necessary if I could lose the weight where I wanted to. Goal four should prove to be a social reminder. Five was a means to an end.
Six...I knew it was silly. Silly to set as a goal, and sillier to write down, but I was serious about it. And my situation was special. It was my main goal. I had made too many stupid mistakes in high school. Sometimes I had dressed ugly on purpose to try and ward off unwanted attention. Not a big fan of hookups, since boys often scared me, even so I was able to get what I had wanted —attention, a date to the movies, free dinners, a hand to hold at the football games. Now I was in college. This was a clean slate. No one knew me. No one knew about me. It was a completely new beginning.
I checked my phone and fortunately there was almost a full hour before I had to be in class. Not wanting to waste any time making my bed properly, I just left the quilt folded in half. Chelsea was sleeping deeply. I opened the drawers, trying to remember where I had kept my clothes having just unpacked yesterday. Instinctively, I reached for a t-shirt and jeans. Dress more attractively, I reminded myself. Goal two. Don't forget the goals.
My most recent trip to the mall had yielded a few cute clothes. A white v-neck shirt that was loose except for the tie in the back hung in the closet. Tunic length. It wasn't terribly formal but it certainly had more class than my plain striped shirts from Wal-Mart. Hopefully it could go either way. If people dressed fancy for class, my clothes wouldn't stand out. If they dressed down, I wouldn't be uncomfortable. Win-win.
Jeans and my brown lace-up shoes complemented the white shirt fine. I had a new metal stand for earrings and although there were only a few pairs hung, I hoped to expand my collection when the opportunity presented itself or some future boyfriend gifted some to me. Maybe if my collection was larger, I'd wear necklaces and dangle earrings more often. My goal was to look nice so I'd remembered that I had jewelry. That was the biggest problem with jewelry —remembering to wear it.
I reached for the dime-sized fake-gold earrings. Gold earrings with brown shoes. Made sense to me. Half tempted to open my laptop and find a color scheme for my outfit; I decided not to waste time doing something so silly. Besides, the wireless was kind of finicky and I wasn't sure I had time for that.
Having arrived to the surprisingly chill California coast only a few days prior, I didn't have my books yet. I did have a notebook that I bought that had only a few random song lyrics and a black, clicky pen. My assigned cabinets and shelf in the fridge were rather bare, as I didn't have very many groceries either. I'd run to Vons with only ten minutes to spare until closing because I'd procrastinated, leaving only time to grab a gallon of milk, a box of cereal, a bunch of bananas, and some protein bars. The bus had dropped me off in the afternoon, which left little time to find my landlord and pay the semester's rent, locate the registration office to check my class schedule, take my picture for student ID card, and get a campus map.
All in all I was not prepared for this day, but it had come. Here it was. I opened the fridge and identified my 2% milk by the blue cap. All the other gallons stood out with their yellow 1% labels. I shrugged, poured a big bowl of cereal, and shoveled them quickly into my mouth. Maximum weight loss comes from a healthy diet and exercise. Ideally, I'd do both. However, chocolate cereal was my constant love. I could be slowly transforming into a blimp, but not even that would make me forsake my happiness in the form of puffed rice chocolate and corn syrup. Chocolate cereal, a goal, even written down, won't keep me from you.
After setting my dishes in the sink, promising to wash them later, I tiptoed back into my room, cautious of the squeaky floorboards. I walked over to my dresser and grabbed the black case that held my bug-eyed brown sunglasses, slipped only one arm strap of my dark blue JanSport on, and opened the door.
The sun was peeking through the palms in yellow and peach hues, making this day—this fresh new day—a glorious day to behold. It was warm, probably too warm for blue jeans and close toed shoes, but I left anyway. I didn't want to be late for tennis.
I opened the black case and slipped on my sunglasses. A perfectly beautiful day filled with bright colors and a sunlit path and I had to view it all through a brown tint.
Though it broke my heart to subject myself to the darkness of the lenses and miss the beauty and splendor of unhindered sunlight, it wasn't worth the risk of what would happen if I didn't wear the sunglasses.
_________
Signed print copies available on store page. Print and electronic book available on Amazon.
Oceanside University
Salty and startlingly frigid, the water stung at my cut legs like a dozen livid wasps. I felt myself plunge beneath the surface into a quiet, new, dark world. I winced, gave a few feeble kicks, and then relaxed. The water was still and I couldn’t help but imagine sharks lurking nearby, circling and waiting to bite, or squids reaching out to- ward me with their long poisonous arms to bring me in for a deathly embrace. Was there no safe place for me? I knew if I wanted to, I could stay here in the dark, cold unknown and continue to sink. If I wanted to, I could wait for the octopus or the rip tide to take me beyond safety. I found surprising peace in being alone, curling my legs into my chest, and clenching my mouth shut tight.
***
"If you like piña colada and getting caught in the rain—"
The music startled me and my heart started racing immediately. I grabbed my phone and shut off the alarm. Hoping that the sudden music hadn't awakened my roommate, I looked in her direction. Fortunately, she didn't move—didn't even roll over. It was still dark out and the air was a little brisk. Wasn't it supposed to be warmer in California? I sat up and pulled my red and blue plaid quilt tightly around my neck. Scooting into the corner of my bed, I sighed. The wooden paneled wall creaked as I rested my head against it. It had come. Another school year.
I suppose most kids start the school year the same way that they start the new year; with resolutions. I had my share of them. Beside me, carefully taped to the wood, was my list of them which I had tried to neatly script in cursive. Someone had told me that writing down goals makes them more achievable. Despite my embarrassment at seeming slightly OCD to my new roommate Chelsea, I had.
Freshman Year Resolutions
1. Get straight A's
2. Dress more attractively
3. Get back down to 135lbs
4. Be more friendly and patient
5. Get a job and some income
6. Find true love
The last one I had outlined a half dozen times. I knew the first one wouldn't be a problem unless I goofed off, which I wouldn't. Math might prove to be a little bit of a struggle, because I'd never been particularly gifted with exponents, parabolas, or algorithms. Despite the difficulty, I had done well in high school back home in Normal.
My wardrobe looked as though it had come to me second-hand. While I had purchased the clothes new, almost all of my tops were faded and balled. Once I got a job I could invest in some new clothes. Since I was currently pushing 143 pounds, the new money and wardrobe might be necessary if I could lose the weight where I wanted to. Goal four should prove to be a social reminder. Five was a means to an end.
Six...I knew it was silly. Silly to set as a goal, and sillier to write down, but I was serious about it. And my situation was special. It was my main goal. I had made too many stupid mistakes in high school. Sometimes I had dressed ugly on purpose to try and ward off unwanted attention. Not a big fan of hookups, since boys often scared me, even so I was able to get what I had wanted —attention, a date to the movies, free dinners, a hand to hold at the football games. Now I was in college. This was a clean slate. No one knew me. No one knew about me. It was a completely new beginning.
I checked my phone and fortunately there was almost a full hour before I had to be in class. Not wanting to waste any time making my bed properly, I just left the quilt folded in half. Chelsea was sleeping deeply. I opened the drawers, trying to remember where I had kept my clothes having just unpacked yesterday. Instinctively, I reached for a t-shirt and jeans. Dress more attractively, I reminded myself. Goal two. Don't forget the goals.
My most recent trip to the mall had yielded a few cute clothes. A white v-neck shirt that was loose except for the tie in the back hung in the closet. Tunic length. It wasn't terribly formal but it certainly had more class than my plain striped shirts from Wal-Mart. Hopefully it could go either way. If people dressed fancy for class, my clothes wouldn't stand out. If they dressed down, I wouldn't be uncomfortable. Win-win.
Jeans and my brown lace-up shoes complemented the white shirt fine. I had a new metal stand for earrings and although there were only a few pairs hung, I hoped to expand my collection when the opportunity presented itself or some future boyfriend gifted some to me. Maybe if my collection was larger, I'd wear necklaces and dangle earrings more often. My goal was to look nice so I'd remembered that I had jewelry. That was the biggest problem with jewelry —remembering to wear it.
I reached for the dime-sized fake-gold earrings. Gold earrings with brown shoes. Made sense to me. Half tempted to open my laptop and find a color scheme for my outfit; I decided not to waste time doing something so silly. Besides, the wireless was kind of finicky and I wasn't sure I had time for that.
Having arrived to the surprisingly chill California coast only a few days prior, I didn't have my books yet. I did have a notebook that I bought that had only a few random song lyrics and a black, clicky pen. My assigned cabinets and shelf in the fridge were rather bare, as I didn't have very many groceries either. I'd run to Vons with only ten minutes to spare until closing because I'd procrastinated, leaving only time to grab a gallon of milk, a box of cereal, a bunch of bananas, and some protein bars. The bus had dropped me off in the afternoon, which left little time to find my landlord and pay the semester's rent, locate the registration office to check my class schedule, take my picture for student ID card, and get a campus map.
All in all I was not prepared for this day, but it had come. Here it was. I opened the fridge and identified my 2% milk by the blue cap. All the other gallons stood out with their yellow 1% labels. I shrugged, poured a big bowl of cereal, and shoveled them quickly into my mouth. Maximum weight loss comes from a healthy diet and exercise. Ideally, I'd do both. However, chocolate cereal was my constant love. I could be slowly transforming into a blimp, but not even that would make me forsake my happiness in the form of puffed rice chocolate and corn syrup. Chocolate cereal, a goal, even written down, won't keep me from you.
After setting my dishes in the sink, promising to wash them later, I tiptoed back into my room, cautious of the squeaky floorboards. I walked over to my dresser and grabbed the black case that held my bug-eyed brown sunglasses, slipped only one arm strap of my dark blue JanSport on, and opened the door.
The sun was peeking through the palms in yellow and peach hues, making this day—this fresh new day—a glorious day to behold. It was warm, probably too warm for blue jeans and close toed shoes, but I left anyway. I didn't want to be late for tennis.
I opened the black case and slipped on my sunglasses. A perfectly beautiful day filled with bright colors and a sunlit path and I had to view it all through a brown tint.
Though it broke my heart to subject myself to the darkness of the lenses and miss the beauty and splendor of unhindered sunlight, it wasn't worth the risk of what would happen if I didn't wear the sunglasses.
_________
Signed print copies available on store page. Print and electronic book available on Amazon.