Authorities of Exile
Prologue: 4 Years Ago
I'd just shut the bathroom stall door when the alarm went off. It wailed through the speaker in the ceiling like an ostrich being strangled. I scrunched up my eyes and weighted my options. Drill or the real deal? It wasn't unlike the Authorities to do drills just before curfew as a way to scare all us girls into our rooms for the night. There was probably a 90% chance it was a drill and a 10% chance there was actually an emergency that required me to barricade myself in the room. What kind of an emergency could it be anyway? A fire? If so, it was probably contained in the kitchens on the first floor.
Then my heart thumped loudly at what may or may not have been an imagined creaking of the elevator. The wall behind me shared space with the elevator. It could be one of the Authorities checking if everyone reacted in the short 30 seconds or so since the alarm went off.
I peed quickly just in case. With a few drops of hand sanitizer stinging my skin and reminding me of every tiny cut in my cuticles, I jogged down the hallway. The elevator doors slid open and my heart stuck in my lungs like gum cemented to the bottom of the desk.
Two uniformed men, yes, men, stepped out of the elevator and upon seeing me in the hall, their wide faces broke into grins. Men. I knew because they had no chest, their arms bulged disproportionately and hair grew from their faces. Their uniforms, red like newly bled blood, made me gasp. Not the Authorities. Not women.
The Gadians were here.
The door to my room was still about two hundred yards away but cracked open a few inches. Just wide enough for me to see Hannah's face. "Help me!" I shrieked, and raced down the hall. I kicked off my flats. My bare feet gripped the cold, white linoleum and for a second I thought I'd get into my room safely. I thought Hannah would put out her hand and pull me inside, but it wasn't her hand that grabbed me. It was his.
He grabbed me by my long hair, tangled his strong fingers in it, and threw me to the ground. I heard the metal bars inside the frame of my bedroom door slide into place. The door was sealed, as was my fate.
Chapter One: Exile Day
At night, every shape in the darkness looked like the menacing silhouette of a man. But it was just past three in the afternoon so I had little to worry about. In my cotton sweatshirt, the sun heated me to the point of discomfort, so I stayed to the shade. That among other reasons. The breeze made the air brisk, but judging by the way the grass crunched underfoot, spring wasn't coming very soon. Grass isn't meant to crunch. But I'll always take the crunch of dried leaves over the cold crunch of snow.
I meandered around the wide trunks of the bare trees and considered climbing one, just for the heck of it. Just to do something for fun. To be fair, I do a lot of things that are fun, but not a selfish kind of fun. I can't afford to do that anymore.
The tip of my shoe brushed against a rock and I watched it tumble through the long, brown grass. The way it rolled caught my eye. I stooped and picked it up with a grin.
"Hello there tasty," I said. A nut. I crushed the shell between two rocks and hastily opened it. A walnut. The sweetness caught me off guard. I popped the whole thing into my mouth and ignored the grit of dirt in my teeth as I let my tongue explore every crevice and get every little bit of nut out.
Once I spat the shell to the ground, I hit my knees. If there was one walnut, there were probably more. The blades of grass were sharp, but I hardly noticed since I remained focused on one goal: find the walnuts.
It took me the better part of an hour, but once certain that there were no more walnuts hiding in the grass, I indulged in a few more. The stupidly sharp shells nearly sliced my thumb open, making me feel entitled to a few more. After all, it was my birthday, and Abby didn't like nuts very much anyway. As for the rest of the girls, their opinions didn't really matter.
As I gathered, it was impossible not to think back to three years ago. Today I celebrated my exile. At the time the Authorities threw me out of the city, I begged them to take me back. I pleaded and sobbed and pounded the wall for much longer than I'd ever admit to anyone. I wanted to die. I wanted vengeance on the men who did this to me. Back then I thought my exile was a death sentence. But back then I was just me and now I'm a mother. It was only fitting that I have a re-birth through exile before Abby was born. At least now I can see the goodness in the past.
That's why I'm celebrating today even though it's not actually my birthday. My actual birthday is in about a week. I'll be nineteen. I refuse to believe it. It sounds way too old of a number to belong to me. Then I think about how Abby will be three in two months and suddenly nineteen doesn’t seem old enough.
In Haven, women don't have their two babies until they are thirty. They have one at thirty and one at thirty-three and then they're done. I was half their age and now I believe I was twice as qualified.
My backpack bulged but it looked heavier than it was. Nuts aren’t like potatoes or apples or hammers or the many other previous contents of this bag.
If I ran, I could be back home in twenty minutes or so. I checked my watch. The cracked face make it a little hard to see the tiny hands, but I'd managed just fine. In fact, I loved this watch. I'd found it on my birthday two years ago and ever since the leather strap snapped, I'd kept the face on my wrist with the wide strap of a broken belt. Originally the enormous buckle bothered me, but not anymore. Trivial things don't bother me anymore.
With plenty of time before dinner, I simply strolled back through the woods. Branches cracked around me and I smirked at the wind that tried to blow my hair into my face. "Nice try," I muttered. Janessa recently chopped it short for me again. One less thing to worry about. We'd read about the Amazon warrior women, and sometimes I compared our little band of women in the woods to them. We fought through difficulty. We relied on each other and the strength of women. But we didn't kill. And we didn't all cut off our right breast to better handle a bow. Though Haven might call us Savages, we actually aren’t.
I had, for a very brief time, carried a bow for protection, but I'd since found two guns. The smaller, lighter one had three bullets. The heavier one had four. Though if I'm being completely honest, I'm not a hundred percent sure that either one works. For my own peace of mind, the smaller one came with me everywhere. The holster wasn't the right size, but who cares? The weight on the right hip reminded me that I had strength and courage. I'd proven myself a fighter and if I ever met another man, I'd have the means to defend myself. Even more so, I'd have the means to attack.
A snap drew all my attention to the person rushing through the trees ahead. My knife clutched in my left hands, I prayed it wasn't a man. My right hand slid down to the black holster.
"Arika!" I should've guessed it was just Nicole. Her big breasts bounced back and forth beneath her ragged pull-over as she jogged, which made me self-conscious and grateful for my withered orange-sized boobs. I stepped out from behind the large trunk and lowered my knife.
"What were you going to do with that?" She gasped. She hadn't seen me reach for the gun.
"You can never be too careful," I shrugged. "What's going on? Abby throw up again?" Abby and the other kids were always sick with something. I don't know why Nicole always thought I had the solutions. I hadn't been training to become a Medical Advisor.
"No, Abby is fine." Nicole bent over as she tried to catch her breath.
"Breathe," I said. Setting my hand on her shoulder. "It's not an emergency is it?"
"Yeah, it is," she sputtered. Images of Abby or Jace covered in blood shot through my imagination.
"The kids? Are they okay?" I fingered the strap of the holster and my heartbeat quickened.
"Not a man. Another exile." Nicole motioned back to our home with a jerk of her head.
"Is she hurt?" I started walking with Nicole along the path she'd come down.
"No... and yes." Nicole shook her head and wiped her sweaty forehead. "She's in labor."
I sprinted away from Nicole. It was against my rules to leave a sister alone in the woods, but this was a different situation. While I had confidence that Janessa would do a good job helping the new girl with controlled breathing, I had the most experience with childbirth. My heart pounded into my throat as my feet found their way to the beaten-down brambles. I heard her cries before the metal roof came into view. I intended on climbing up after the sheets of metal cooled tonight and re-coating their shiny surfaces with mud. Clearly that wasn't going to happen.
"Whyyy is this happening to meee?" The girl shouted before screaming again. I rounded the bend and saw her hunched over in the front of the house. The kids stared on and Janessa, Mel, and Diana crowded her.
"Mom, are we having another baby?" Abby tugged at my shirt. I took of my bag and handed it to her.
"Yes, honey. Take this into the kitchen and then go play with the kids in the playroom. Mommy has to help."
I'd just shut the bathroom stall door when the alarm went off. It wailed through the speaker in the ceiling like an ostrich being strangled. I scrunched up my eyes and weighted my options. Drill or the real deal? It wasn't unlike the Authorities to do drills just before curfew as a way to scare all us girls into our rooms for the night. There was probably a 90% chance it was a drill and a 10% chance there was actually an emergency that required me to barricade myself in the room. What kind of an emergency could it be anyway? A fire? If so, it was probably contained in the kitchens on the first floor.
Then my heart thumped loudly at what may or may not have been an imagined creaking of the elevator. The wall behind me shared space with the elevator. It could be one of the Authorities checking if everyone reacted in the short 30 seconds or so since the alarm went off.
I peed quickly just in case. With a few drops of hand sanitizer stinging my skin and reminding me of every tiny cut in my cuticles, I jogged down the hallway. The elevator doors slid open and my heart stuck in my lungs like gum cemented to the bottom of the desk.
Two uniformed men, yes, men, stepped out of the elevator and upon seeing me in the hall, their wide faces broke into grins. Men. I knew because they had no chest, their arms bulged disproportionately and hair grew from their faces. Their uniforms, red like newly bled blood, made me gasp. Not the Authorities. Not women.
The Gadians were here.
The door to my room was still about two hundred yards away but cracked open a few inches. Just wide enough for me to see Hannah's face. "Help me!" I shrieked, and raced down the hall. I kicked off my flats. My bare feet gripped the cold, white linoleum and for a second I thought I'd get into my room safely. I thought Hannah would put out her hand and pull me inside, but it wasn't her hand that grabbed me. It was his.
He grabbed me by my long hair, tangled his strong fingers in it, and threw me to the ground. I heard the metal bars inside the frame of my bedroom door slide into place. The door was sealed, as was my fate.
Chapter One: Exile Day
At night, every shape in the darkness looked like the menacing silhouette of a man. But it was just past three in the afternoon so I had little to worry about. In my cotton sweatshirt, the sun heated me to the point of discomfort, so I stayed to the shade. That among other reasons. The breeze made the air brisk, but judging by the way the grass crunched underfoot, spring wasn't coming very soon. Grass isn't meant to crunch. But I'll always take the crunch of dried leaves over the cold crunch of snow.
I meandered around the wide trunks of the bare trees and considered climbing one, just for the heck of it. Just to do something for fun. To be fair, I do a lot of things that are fun, but not a selfish kind of fun. I can't afford to do that anymore.
The tip of my shoe brushed against a rock and I watched it tumble through the long, brown grass. The way it rolled caught my eye. I stooped and picked it up with a grin.
"Hello there tasty," I said. A nut. I crushed the shell between two rocks and hastily opened it. A walnut. The sweetness caught me off guard. I popped the whole thing into my mouth and ignored the grit of dirt in my teeth as I let my tongue explore every crevice and get every little bit of nut out.
Once I spat the shell to the ground, I hit my knees. If there was one walnut, there were probably more. The blades of grass were sharp, but I hardly noticed since I remained focused on one goal: find the walnuts.
It took me the better part of an hour, but once certain that there were no more walnuts hiding in the grass, I indulged in a few more. The stupidly sharp shells nearly sliced my thumb open, making me feel entitled to a few more. After all, it was my birthday, and Abby didn't like nuts very much anyway. As for the rest of the girls, their opinions didn't really matter.
As I gathered, it was impossible not to think back to three years ago. Today I celebrated my exile. At the time the Authorities threw me out of the city, I begged them to take me back. I pleaded and sobbed and pounded the wall for much longer than I'd ever admit to anyone. I wanted to die. I wanted vengeance on the men who did this to me. Back then I thought my exile was a death sentence. But back then I was just me and now I'm a mother. It was only fitting that I have a re-birth through exile before Abby was born. At least now I can see the goodness in the past.
That's why I'm celebrating today even though it's not actually my birthday. My actual birthday is in about a week. I'll be nineteen. I refuse to believe it. It sounds way too old of a number to belong to me. Then I think about how Abby will be three in two months and suddenly nineteen doesn’t seem old enough.
In Haven, women don't have their two babies until they are thirty. They have one at thirty and one at thirty-three and then they're done. I was half their age and now I believe I was twice as qualified.
My backpack bulged but it looked heavier than it was. Nuts aren’t like potatoes or apples or hammers or the many other previous contents of this bag.
If I ran, I could be back home in twenty minutes or so. I checked my watch. The cracked face make it a little hard to see the tiny hands, but I'd managed just fine. In fact, I loved this watch. I'd found it on my birthday two years ago and ever since the leather strap snapped, I'd kept the face on my wrist with the wide strap of a broken belt. Originally the enormous buckle bothered me, but not anymore. Trivial things don't bother me anymore.
With plenty of time before dinner, I simply strolled back through the woods. Branches cracked around me and I smirked at the wind that tried to blow my hair into my face. "Nice try," I muttered. Janessa recently chopped it short for me again. One less thing to worry about. We'd read about the Amazon warrior women, and sometimes I compared our little band of women in the woods to them. We fought through difficulty. We relied on each other and the strength of women. But we didn't kill. And we didn't all cut off our right breast to better handle a bow. Though Haven might call us Savages, we actually aren’t.
I had, for a very brief time, carried a bow for protection, but I'd since found two guns. The smaller, lighter one had three bullets. The heavier one had four. Though if I'm being completely honest, I'm not a hundred percent sure that either one works. For my own peace of mind, the smaller one came with me everywhere. The holster wasn't the right size, but who cares? The weight on the right hip reminded me that I had strength and courage. I'd proven myself a fighter and if I ever met another man, I'd have the means to defend myself. Even more so, I'd have the means to attack.
A snap drew all my attention to the person rushing through the trees ahead. My knife clutched in my left hands, I prayed it wasn't a man. My right hand slid down to the black holster.
"Arika!" I should've guessed it was just Nicole. Her big breasts bounced back and forth beneath her ragged pull-over as she jogged, which made me self-conscious and grateful for my withered orange-sized boobs. I stepped out from behind the large trunk and lowered my knife.
"What were you going to do with that?" She gasped. She hadn't seen me reach for the gun.
"You can never be too careful," I shrugged. "What's going on? Abby throw up again?" Abby and the other kids were always sick with something. I don't know why Nicole always thought I had the solutions. I hadn't been training to become a Medical Advisor.
"No, Abby is fine." Nicole bent over as she tried to catch her breath.
"Breathe," I said. Setting my hand on her shoulder. "It's not an emergency is it?"
"Yeah, it is," she sputtered. Images of Abby or Jace covered in blood shot through my imagination.
"The kids? Are they okay?" I fingered the strap of the holster and my heartbeat quickened.
"Not a man. Another exile." Nicole motioned back to our home with a jerk of her head.
"Is she hurt?" I started walking with Nicole along the path she'd come down.
"No... and yes." Nicole shook her head and wiped her sweaty forehead. "She's in labor."
I sprinted away from Nicole. It was against my rules to leave a sister alone in the woods, but this was a different situation. While I had confidence that Janessa would do a good job helping the new girl with controlled breathing, I had the most experience with childbirth. My heart pounded into my throat as my feet found their way to the beaten-down brambles. I heard her cries before the metal roof came into view. I intended on climbing up after the sheets of metal cooled tonight and re-coating their shiny surfaces with mud. Clearly that wasn't going to happen.
"Whyyy is this happening to meee?" The girl shouted before screaming again. I rounded the bend and saw her hunched over in the front of the house. The kids stared on and Janessa, Mel, and Diana crowded her.
"Mom, are we having another baby?" Abby tugged at my shirt. I took of my bag and handed it to her.
"Yes, honey. Take this into the kitchen and then go play with the kids in the playroom. Mommy has to help."
