Great news! I finally have a handle on Instagram. I'm even taking an online course on how to properly run things there so I can have awesome pictures and interesting content.  I'm excited to see how it goes. So far, I'm having a fun time. 

I'd love to have you follow me @lara.hues.writes

There, I share what I'm reading, some tips for writers, and pet peeves of YA works. 

Ever since I was a teen (writing what I see now as a pretty crummy story) I have dreamed of doing a book signing. 
On Feb 7th, 2018 I finally scheduled my first book signing. I was so excited that I called the local radio station and I set up an interview on their LIVE show.  I was on cloud nine. I got a book signing and radio interview. My self-perception as an author changed. Suddenly I wasn't this austere wannabe. I was someone worth hearing from. The bookstore wanted me to speak for 40 mins before the signing. Some people might find that to be a bit overwhelming, but I was delighted.  I began my presentation right away. I ordered 60 books online for the event. I even looked at plane tickets to fly my little sister out for the signing. 

But then, on Feb 20th, I got an email letting me know that the signing was cancelled. 
Cancelled. Not even rescheduled.  The flyer didn't get made and so the marketing didn't happen. And the event was cancelled. 
Hence me making the flyer I posted above. I sent it to them twenty minutes after receiving the email, but it was too late apparently.
I'd be lying if I told you that I kept it together. I didn't. Tears welled in my eyes as I read the email the fourth time. I felt like a total failure. Like a total loser for even thinking that a bookstore, a real brick and mortar store, would invite me to come out and speak and sign my books. 
Embarrassment welled in my chest as I debated how to tell the radio station that the signing would be cancelled.
Then, I got an email from them the next day. They too were cancelling me, having known nothing about the status of the book signing. Apparently someone more important became available for the interview.


Just like that, my hopes and dreams were crushed.

But then, I identified something over the next few days.  I had been pushing my ambitions onto other people. I had assumed it was a bookstore's job to get me to do a signing. Or a radio station's job to do an interview.  I had dreamed that someone somewhere would pluck me out of obscurity.

How ridiculous, right?  
Right. 
I had a realization that I am completely in charge of what I accomplish. I am in charge of promoting myself and if I want to have any chance as success, I need to get up again and put myself out there again.

That realization led to me writing this song.
A song that I plan to record and make a music video of at the end of the year.

I'm really looking forward to it, and in some ways, this let-downs have inspired me to get back in the fight even more than before.

If one bookstore was willing to do a signing, I'm willing to be there's another one that will. I just have to find them.
Anyway, here are the lyrics!

Up Again
 
I’ve learned living all over the world that
you’ve gotta have your own back. 
Nobody’s going to watch it for you
 
I’ve learned if you’re gonna last through the night 
You’ve gotta fight your own fight.
Nobody’s gonna hand it to you. 
 
 I’ve been let down far too many times
But I just restart
 
I get back up again up again every time I slip or they trip me 
Up again up again.  They don’t see the future that I see 
I know I’ve got what to takes to win
I get right back up again. 
 
I’ve learned not to rely on a team 
After all I’m the one w a dream 
Guess I’ve got some trust issues 
 
Haters, they don’t want to believe 
But I know it’s all within reach 
Still I’ve got some work to do. 
 
I’ve been pushed down so many times 
But I don’t let it show 
 
I get back up again up again every time I slip or they trip me 
Up again up again 
They don’t see the future that I see 
I know I’ve got what to takes to win
I get right back up again. 
 
I’ve spent some time at rock bottom, rock bottom 
And felt the sharp sting of failure so often 
I’ve had days when I swear I can’t take it anymore. 
But I get up cause I’m worth fighting for. 
 
 
I get back up again up again every time I slip or they trip me 
Up again up again 
They don’t see the future that I see 
I know I’ve got what to takes to win
I get right back up again. 
 
 

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